A Firm, Fluid, Natural Affirmation

A N G E R is not an inferior emotion as many believe.
Anger is valuable, just as any “positive” emotion would be considered.
In truth, there are no positive or negative emotions.

E M O T I O N is just emotion and all of them are apart of the human experience.
Anger, like all emotions, gives us information about our experience and an interpretation of what is going on around us. Anger let’s us know when we are being disrespected or when someone is crossing a boundary. Anger shows us what our boundaries are.

A N G E R IS M O V E M E N T
Anger C A N be a catalyst for C H A N G E. 

Think about protests. People have to get angry first, which propels them forward to stand up.
Your anger is pointing to something underneath that is beyond the anger (often sadness/pain or an unexpressed or unfelt need). When we suppress anger, it will build slowly underneath, and then eventually, it will come out as an explosion from the pressure. This is where the suppressed EMOTION of anger, when it remains bottled up, CAN explode, at a later time, as a violent choice of behaviour. Violence is NEVER acceptable. Yelling can be considered violent. Yelling is the behaviour choice of bullies. Yelling is for those who lack communication skills. Yelling means you've lost your shit. 

Suppressed anger has no choice but to release at some point. This is when anger becomes unhealthy. This is when anger becomes negative. We do not want to take out unexpressed anger, when it mutates into a less healthy choice of behaviour, on anyone or ourselves. This may be a delayed resentment, a delayed bitterness, a delayed choice of behaviour to seek revenge or "get square". Or even resort to violence in one of its many forms; emotional, physical or manipulative. 

Holding space for your True Self, starts with feeling ALL your emotions so you can release them in a conscious and healthy way. This means to get to know your Whole Self. The True You, beyond healing, beyond all terms & conditions, beyond any imposed or inherited "terms & conditions". 

The worst thing you can do is push down your anger (or any emotion) and pretend it is not there.
You CAN CHOOSE to express and feel your anger in a healthy way.
You CAN CHOOSE to consciously change your relationship with anger (or any felt emotion) and see they are all there to help guide you.
Do NOT take your anger out on others, NEVER choose violence ever. Even yelling is violence. 

I am not condoning that what so ever.

But DO build a healthy relationship with anger & allow it to help you make changes that are necessary in your life. Your relationship with anger and how you transmute it is what counts.

We also want to alchemize our anger so we can be free from it. 

Respect it, feel it and acknowledge it, so you can let go of it. 

Do not live in anger. Do not get stuck in anger. Don't be entitled. So not seek revenge. 

Do not live in a lack of wholeness. Get to know The True You, The Whole You, The Total You. 

Do not live in resentment, or bitterness, or bypassing emotions, like sadness or boredom or grief or loneliness or disconnection from The TRUE SELF and then choosing addictive, or repetitive or harmful uses of drugs, illicit or legal. 

Stop running away from the whole you, stop the chaos, stop the drama and stop the inner conflict. 

Just Stop It. 

Anger is also a secondary emotion. 

Anger is born from chaotic upbringings. 

Anger is born from not feeling unconditional love or emotional safety or parental consistency in childhood.

Anger comes from unexpressed and unmet needs and an inability to maintain healthy relationships. 

Anger dwells in the somatic body of "not enoughness".

Anger is a "masking" emotion, an often loud "first response" emotion. 

Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to feel, peel, and reveal what is the energy beneath anger? 

Seek to explore more subtle, more nuanced, more refined "energy" that led to the anger in the first place. This is what is often referred to as "doing the work", exploring and dis covering the real you.

As we dive deeper into our stories, our dormant energies and then release them, we also realize who we are at a simple, basic and core level. 

We come home to Our Real Whole Self. 

We return to who we have always been.

WE remember 100% who we are at our unadulterated core. 

We eventually realize for Our Self, once we grow up, after all the chaos and drama and BS slows down and gets out of the way, we simply ask, 

Who Am I? 

Really... 

Do you even know who you are beneath the surface energy in motion? 

Beneath The turbulence of E- Motion. 

Beneath The Loose and Lush and Lost In Living. 

Beneath the striving and seeking and try hard desires and wasted brain cells and hang overs? 

Beneath all the facades and fake made up faces and trying so hard to fit in and be "good"? 

Beneath all the ultra spiritual new age crapola sold as "healing" when all you need is held space" 

To Hold Your Own... "space" WTF does THAT even mean? 

Get to Know The True Self, The Grounded Gracious and Spacious Self. 

Get to Know Your Own Fundamental, unadulterated core. 

Who were you before the world told you who to be? 

Get to Know Your Own True Nature. 

The simple answer is there and always has been. 

The real you may have simply got covered over. 

Weighed down with expectations. Weighed down by dis integrated ego. Weighed down by control. 

Too many barnacles, too much trauma, too much stress of NOT yet knowing your own true Self? 

With childhood chaos and dross and drama and substance addiction and lost in living. 

With perfectionism, with people pleasing, with enabling, with entitlement, with denial, with unexpressed anger, with grief, shame or even own body hatred, with an expectation for the present moment to be different than what it actually is? 

Please, with enormous self compassion, bucket loads of self care and endless self love, Get The Fuck Over These Self Imposed Limiting Beliefs, Sucky Stories and Myopic Myths, put them all down, slowly, and step away from THOSE self imposed dangerous little boxes and imagined fake fantasies.

None of them are YOU. 

None of them are The Real YOU. 

None of that stuff, just like subtle suppressed anger you hang onto, is anywhere near who YOU really are. 

Humans who are deeply connected to feeling their own energy in motion, connected to living a whole life, connected to the total full spectrum Self, are extremely well attuned to their own inner beauty, attuned to their own inner landscape, attuned to their own FULL emotional repertoire. 

They know who they are, they know what they don't want, they know what they deserve and they do not settle for less. People who feel and easily and healthily express their FULL RANGE of emotions are said to be well in touch with them Self, the real self. 

Not the conditioned Self. Not the societal self, the people pleasing, the perfectionist, the compliant and silent or traumatized and family of origin "terms & conditions" inherited for generations stale somatic energy. It just depends how deeply and thoroughly you have chosen to be aware, to be in touch with, to be consciously attuned to your own emotional energy. This is the deeper answer to "Who Am I? Really?

So continue to explore into your emotional body, the possible collective pain body, the reality of who you really are, at your most fundamental core. Once all who we are not is stripped away and we become ever more subtly and finely nuanced and consciously aware of our own TRUE NATURE, we then simply get on with living a WHOLE life. Living as, and in, that awareness. 

Sadness and grief and an anxious insecurity is sometimes underneath anger

Unexpressed needs and unmet expectations are sometimes underneath anger. 

Not getting what you demand and expect and want right "now" is sometimes underneath anger.

Explore diligently within, lightly play with what you discover and then hold tenderly with self compassion, what may be beneath any suppressed anger. (or any emotion, really)

Once you become aware of your anger patterns, you can then reduce them because you are said to be "more in touch" with your own energy, connected to your flowing and ever changing e-motions. 

As my dear mom taught me, many moons ago, her quiet thunder, her almost peaceful and graceful and always loving "pissed offness." 

Mum's tone and manner and body language and very clear and direct voice became deeper and stiller and quieter when she was REALLY angry, REALLY pissed off with me. Less energy IS more energy. 

Mum's fully expressed anger (and usually 100% justified mind you) at what my less than helpful behaviour choices were, taught me about healthy and postive expression and release of anger. Mum didn't have to rant and rave her anger, there was no mad woman anger or wild woman anger or definitely NO feral hard biting rabidness anger. 

Mum taught me a reserved and respected quiet thunder, anger. 

Mum taught me a peace fully pissed off anger.

Mum taught me a FULL ON anger, FULLY expressed in the moment and ALWAYS FROM LOVE; 

with no violent choices, no raised voices, no swearing, no losing her shit, no chucking stuff or punching walls or bullying people or tantrums and hissy fits and running away. 

Healthy anger can easily be released and vented and shared from love, once we are conscious of our choices of behaviour and expression. 

Once we learn a wider range of mature means to fully express anger. Which don't involve violence. 

Once we slow down and stop the inner chaos, the inner drama and unconscious lost in living none sense. 

We easily attune to The Whole Self. The Total Self. NOT the perfect self. 

And then pause before we choose violence to express anger. Which we should NEVER choose. 

Once we attune to any remaining unconscious inner disconnected busyness that prevents us making wise and informed conscious responses. 

Simple NOT easy, until it is. 

Once we let all energy flow, in the moment, we feel our emotions fully, deeply and completely. 

We tend to reduce, and then totally eliminate, any of the more dangerous "fly off the handle dumb as fuck" anger choices, still asleep, still unconscious patterns and still immature angry reactions. 

This is what "doing the work" reveals. 

I knew when mum was angry with me, mum never yelled or hit or chose unhealthy behaviours, but I knew with certainty she was angry with me, because she loved me unconditionally but was not going to tolerate me making dumb as fuck choices that jeopardized my, or someone else's, well being or health and safety. Yes, a reserved quiet thunder is a deeply grounded energetic presence that says so much loudly, without yelling, without pretense, without entitlement. Thanks mum for teaching me very well at a very young age how to express and release anger in a healthy and constructive manner. Thanks dad for also choosing the same non violent behaviours and supporting mum in your wise co parenting decisions. Inheriting healthy emotional intelligence starts by witnessing our greatest teachers. 

A "quiet thunder" direct and concise and self righteous anger is just fine, as long as it is expressed in the moment, in a healthy and non violent manner and always FROM LOVE, not for love

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