Flag Fall? 🟢⚐⛳🏁 White, Red, Green, Chequered or A Golfing Hole In Won?

The same red flags you ignore in the beginning, 

are always the same red flags that end your relationship.

Pay Attention.

Listen. 

Learn.

Trust Your True Natured Self. 

Believe someone the FIRST time they reveal their true colours

Red flags?

Green Flags?

Beige Flags?

White or Black Waved Flags?

Hole In Won Flag? 

A flag Stick In The Golf Green Hole Style Flag? 

Whatever The colour is of the flags they will drop, neliebe them the FIRST time. 

:eopards rarely change from generation to generation

People often connect with the energy of their most dominant unhealed dis integrated parent wound. 

Pay MORE attention to what they may NOT broach or raise or mention as you get to know them. 

Listen for gaps. 

After a while, maybe after you have safely navigated the easy early surface rushes, and are mutually moving into a deeper committed partnership,  what's the level of emotional intimacy like? 

Are there STILL any off limit still too wounded topics NOT on the record or still too hard to go "there"? Does NOT mean it is a red flag immediately, but be wary of anyone who can't or won't open up and share ever deepening emotional parts of their story as the friendship deepens. 

Red flags are always red flags no matter what stage of the friendship and are always the ones you chose to ignore at the start, hoping things would change. 

They mostly don't. But even the darkest flags are NOT always code red breakers. 

If each partner has already chosen the path of conscious relating as a priority, even extremely dark flags do not mean a break or a parting of the ways. Non needy, simple, clear and regular Non violent communication which stems from a grounded consciousness, is usually a sound solid foundation on which to build and create. 

Red flags for me, other than the obvious, are how a person speaks about ex partners, how they own their family of origin "conditioning". We all have it, EVERY human has been conditioned by their family or care providers of childhood origin. Every single one of us comes attached with some trauma or outright awesome glimmers or dark heavy baggage of origin story, it just depends how many bags may still be unconsciously stored away that leads to the major red flags that COULD be connection or heart breakers.  So IF they look at you blankly and have NOT even started the space creating journey within, or are still in the beginners growth zone of the lower floors or have elevated and are NOW actually consciously aware of a wound or a blockage or an attachment they want to let go of and are simply ignoring it or hoping it just magically goes away or they are ACTIVELY suppressing it and still blaming a parent or sibling or partner or even their own children from a past relationship.  

run forest...ruuuuun as BEING aware of a wound or the work left to do AND then ignoring it or suppressing it with drugs, alcohol or denial is a major red flag that will emerge for EXACTLY that reason. The shadow will NOT be contained forever, it will explode out of the box when least expected possibly in anger, raised voices, revenge seeking, get square type of score counting, violent communication, or worse, simple projection and finger pointing with a feral angry and unreasonable yelling. At you, NOT the source of the original wound. How much inner space do you have or want to contribute for them to unload and vent and hear them out? It really does NOT matter HOW much work you have BOTH done, ot is more about the quality of the emotional connection that allows ANYTHING to be addressed without getting all storm in a tea cup over even trivial or minor differences. There really does not need to EVER be serious partnership/frienship conflict IF both partners are skilled at NVC and time is CONSCIOUSLY allocated to share and be heard. Whether YOU may think there is a problem or not, that check of conscious connection MUST be at least a regular if not daily check in. This of course includes GREAT POSITIVE news as well so even tiny "wins" can be mutually celebrated. Don't ever wait for the really big stuff, positive or negative, as by then it will feel shallow and insincere if eventually ONLY peak events like birthdays and maybe significant anniversaries are even bothered with. Attention to detail and paying attention simply means listening astutely and follow up with consideration. It reflects who YOU are and not the potential or already partner. If there is NO alive mutual vibe, don't waste time. Wish them well, the alignment or priority is simply NOT there, love them still, remain civil and move on. 

a "projection" (blame or external finger pointing) that is still too dark or painfull or off limits for them to "go there" even tjough they know it exists...) 

Patience. Observe, Create and Hold space.

Relating is NOT a police interogation, it is a shared gentle unfolding. 

Listen for wavers or wounds or traumas, as well as glimmers and places for shared, mutual growth. 

Abandoned by daddy or mummy?