In Truth Listening is Key to Success as a Leader.

"Pay Attention, Be Astonished, Tell About It"

Mary Oliver

All Relationships, Personal or Work, Start and End With Deep Listening. 

One of the biggest predictors of whether an employee will be engaged at work is the extent to which they feel like their boss listens to them. But sadly, we’ve all had (or are having) the experience of a boss who doesn’t listen to us. And I’m not talking about really blatant situations (e.g. they literally turn away from us or roll their eyes), but rather those situations in which the boss acts like they’re listening but hears nothing we say.

Is the boss listening? 

To all staff? 

Do you feel heard? 

Or just constantly dismissed by the boss not paying attention? 

It can be very frustrating if your boss doesn’t listen to you. You may feel like they don’t hear you or that your voice doesn’t matter. This can damage your career and lead to unhappiness in the workplace. However, there are things you can do to get your boss to hear you. Before we start down the path of how to get heard, we need to assess the situation. How bad is it and is it the boss that’s the problem or is it you? 

Consider the following signs:

Signs Your Boss May Not Be Listening

Consider the following telltale signs that your boss is a poor listener. 

Any of these signs by themselves are indicative of poor listening habits, however in combination the results could be disastrous. 

Note how many behaviors you see from the #bossbabe regularly; (male OR female #bossbabes BTW)

• Your #bossbabe never asks your opinion
• You meet with your #bossbabe less than once a month
• Your #bossbabe never does what he / she agrees to doing in your conversations
• When your #bossbabe paraphrases what you said to her, she almost always get it wrong
• When your #bossbabe asks you a question and you answer it, they ask it again as if your answer never happened
• When you talk, your #bossbabe does any of the following: stares at you blankly, types, checks their phone, simply gets up and walk away, no response to what you have shared, 
• Your #bossbabe talks and talks and talks… at you

Signs You Don’t Feel Heard

Equally important is how you experience this behavior. 

To what degree is this behavior affecting you, your performance and potentially your career? 

Note the following “costs” of having a #bossbabe that is a poor listener. 

The more statements you answer “yes” to, the more likely your mild frustration will turn to feelings of not being valued, cared for or seen. Then see if a possibly also insecure #bossbabe plays staff favourites and maybe even has that one special member she lavishes extra attention and rewards on because they enable her non listening.  Deep stuff for certain.

Note the following “costs” of having a #bossbabe that is a poor listener. 

• Your ideas go unrecognized or unacknowledged
• Your are only seen a certain way in the organization (your job / role… not what you are capable of)
• Your career progression has stalled
• You don’t think your boss cares about you
• Staff who people please and comply, are rewarded. 

Why does listening matter?

From a leadership or management perspective listening matters for a whole host of reasons.

You get better engagement

If people know that their contributions are appreciated and valued, they are much more likely to engage.

For many organisations and a lack of engagement is a significant issue.

You get more respect

Who would you give more respect to?

The manager or leader who thinks they know it all and don’t need your perspective on things or the manager or leader who is self aware and knows they come up with better solutions if they listen to others?

You get better results

Individuals can deliver so much.

Ultimately any significant success comes through listening to and utilising the full benefits of team working.

The real consequences of not listening

• You increase the risk of disengaging people.
• You miss out on great ideas and insights.
• You lose the respect of others.
• You struggle to make change or improvement.
• You waste time, energy and effort.

In truth listening is key to success as a leader or manager.

So ask yourself what one action are you going to take to be an even better listener?

Listening well is important not just because it’s a key to keeping employees inspired and engaged. It’s also the key to spotting problems, picking up on trends, and basically get you the data and insight you need to succeed. If talented staff don't feel heard over time, they will move on. And an un listening boss can choose to reflect on those lessons if experienced and talented staff are constantly leaving, for whatever reason. That's if the effective leader, or the "bossy boss" or possibly by now in the eyes of those not heard, a "bully boss of my way or the highway" control.

Is this person even self aware and capable of listening to Them Self? That begs another question and is for another post. 

What are the consequences when your boss doesn’t listen to you?

If your boss doesn’t listen to you, it can have severe consequences for your career. When your boss doesn’t listen, you feel invisible and unimportant. This can lead to frustration and unhappiness in the workplace. As a result, your performance will suffer. Additionally, if your boss is constantly shooting down your ideas without considering them, you begin to feel like your opinion doesn’t matter. This can damage your motivation and productivity. It causes you to stop contributing and ultimately hurts your career. If you feel that your boss is not listening to you, it is vital to take action and make yourself heard. We’ve covered the signs of a boss who doesn’t listen and some techniques to address them and get them to listen to you. When your attempts to coach your boss to listen and pay attention fail, it is time to find a new boss or new job. Move on and learn the listening lesson. 

And great listening starts in The Home. Thank you to those parents who listen to their children well. 

"From Love NOT For Love"

Simply Witness Those Who Stay

Why? 

What's The Common Pattern?

They Feel Seen and Heard and Held.

By an Authentic Loving Kindness,

 Which starts with a Deep Silence, 

A Listening to True Nature.

Your Own, first. 

#dadirri #atmavidya