Acceptance Is Not Agreement.
I can 100% accept a wide variety of other people's choices. This does NOT mean I agree with them.
Acceptance is an allowance of letting non harmful choices of others simply be. Tolerance of diversity is a sign of a profound education. That does NOT mean I tolerate disrespect or tolerate racist, sexist, unkind misogynistic assholes who are obviously either grossly insecure or lack character. Or both. It simply means I can easily answer the very simple question, Who Am I?
There is enough space (in conscious well adjusted people at least) for a diverse range of perspectives to co exist con currently. If it energetically costs me my inner peace and calm, it is too expensive. Noisy, sharp or harsh places and spaces and energy vampires simply suck the life out of others. Maybe NOT deliberately or consciously, but never the less those coming from a deficit, coming from a lack, seem to drain others who allow that draining to occur. Don't take it personally. Most energy vampires don't even realize who THEY are, let alone another. Energy vampires certainly cannot answer the simplest question on earth, Who Am I...? Energy vampires are usually so lost in living and heavily conditioned that they struggle to keep the blues away, so they turn to artificial aids to prop the inauthentic self up. This may be the beginning of habitual by pass, habitual avoidance and habitual denial that there even may be an unconscious condition (often from childhood) needing to be "healed", removed or evolved.
Patterns of choices over time may indicate both a wise responsive discernment and/or a possibly rash reactionary, unthinking, free will. These may simply indicate how many unconscious layers of conditioning we may still need to shed. If we choose to even go there.
Humans are all somewhere on a spectrum of consciousness and mental health, or "mood". Your unique place on that spectrum can shift quiet rapidly if we are carrying too many unresolved or hidden stressors. If we bottle things up, can't communicate freely, unconsciously reach for self medication, develop less helpful habits and possibly even dangerous patterns over time due to unresolved deep seated conditioning.
If we are even stressed a little bit more than "normal" or exhausted and worn out, we may not be feeling our "normal" self and we need to be even more mindful of the self care choices we make.
Stress, which is to be in a state of somatic or cellular "dis ease", has a direct bearing on our life style and well being over time and in turn may affect our moment to moment choices.
The more stressed we become, the more we worry and possibly then expose our self to even more chaos, drama and prolonged harsh energy as we become conditioned or habituated over time to these stress levels. This high level energy of "always on", "internally busy" and "projection" means we may eventually be unable to switch off and relax, even when away from the immediate stressor, like a minor work disagreement or major on going relationship conflict. Any repetitive conditioning patterns, possibly since childhood, or daily occurrences of stress and "dis ease" now, may result in medical model labels of "mood swings, anxiety and depression" right through to complex post traumatic stress disorders and other mental health diagnosis requiring medication and/or on going therapy.
If stressful life style cycles (like the 3 minimum wage jobs to make ends meet or a narcissistic boss who obviously totally sucks and the bills don't pay themselves scenario) or self medicated addictive choices like excessive and/or regular drug or alcohol use to dull the emotional pain or relieve the job stress or even just to "take the minor edge off" and help us relax. Any repetitive unconscious choices (Yes just Why Am I having 3 drinks every night? And when did that become my pattern?) may then lead to further and deeper energetic "dis ease" or a continued dulling of sensitivity (closing the heart to life) to avoid, escape or deny "The Stress" by increasing doses of self medication (illicit or legal) over time.
This patterned stress spiral, up and/or down, which can develop subtly over time and creep up on you, may lead to more serious mental or physical health issues.
Remaining aware of why you may choose to get wasted once a week or lost in living daily or checked out for a moment with a cone or a joint or a line and then also get socially numbed by one "Happy Hour" allows an insight into any patterns of repetitive stress that you may be unconsciously inviting into your life. Awareness of swinging or unstable mood cycles is imperative, check in with your self as to what is causing any possible energetic misalignment. A lack of good quality restorative sleep, shitty diet, not enough water or movement or sunlight? The people you hang with? The stories you tell your self? Your own self talk? The busy, chaotic, drama filled static white noise always on energy you or others create or you choose to be in and live in? Let alone that crap job and psycho boss?
That somatic spiral of up and down stress, that psyche fracture of becoming lost in living by following a path that is NOT authentically ours, that unconscious conditioning by parents, society, school, media or intergenerational family of origin may start at conception, then birth and continue during our so called formative years until we reach our breaking point some 30 or 40 or even 50 years later. Of course many never ever reach that breaking point or stress point or routine moody reactionary asshole point because they choose to self care however that may look for them, as soon as they feel the stress rising and the mood swinging. Mindful people return to their own rested centre quite easily as they master their own energetic moment to moment flows. They know them Self, The know the real self. And are able to make discerning choices to remain true to that authentic Self
One of the most helpful lessons that calm, centred and gracious people learn early in life, is that they don't take anything personally. They remain accountable and responsible for their shit.
And strong foundational self knowledge people certainly kindly let others own their own stress and assorted shit that they may attempt to project and unload onto others, possibly those with non existant or porous boundaries.
Those tending more towards choices of finer, more nuanced discernment and a mindful responsiveness not a wild hair line trigger stressed and moody reactivity, usually are coming from a well rested, deeper and clearer and therefore more gracious inner space. These people know who they are, they know what they don't want, they know what they deserve and they do NOT settle for less. They teach people how to treat them and show them where the firmly boundaried access door is.
They also
DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
That’s the second agreement of Don Miguel Ruiz’s classic,
They realize from moment to moment that whatever anyone says or does is a direct statement of where that person currently is. If someone is simply unaware or stressed, and spits their dummy out of the cot, or insipidly people pleases or acts in any other excessively harsh or disingenuous or inauthentic manner, that is a direct insight into that person's current inner state of awareness.
And any of that is NOT to be taken personally.
Including and starting with YOUR own, possibly negative, self talk.
Don Ruiz writes:
"Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally…Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing….When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid.
There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. You become immune to black magicians, and no spell can affect you regardless of how strong it may be. The whole world can gossip about you, and if you don’t take it personally you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don’t take it personally, you will not eat it. When you don’t take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you.
As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
If you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, “I love you,” without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need."
"FROM LOVE NOT FOR LOVE"
once we realize we are enough,
we come from a flowing fullness,
we come from love (of the whole self, firstly)
and NOT "for love"
So
Cease The Reaching
Cease Trying Hard
Cease Projecting Unhealed wounds onto Others
Cease blame, cease shame and finger pointing
DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
acceptance is NOT agreement,
be kind and aligned, be open and potent,
and simply create more inner space
to come home, surrender, to the
True, Authentic, Whole (not perfect)
Self.
