"Just A Teaspoon"

The foundation of any healthy relationship is emotional intimacy. 

Meaning, you regularly show interest in and care about each other's internal world. 

Emotional intimacy is the process of intentionally connecting with your partner through actions that allow them to feel: seen, heard, and understood. In order to have emotional intimacy, we have to practice vulnerable sharing. It's through vulnerable sharing that we learn to trust our partners.

VULNERABLE SHARING LOOKS LIKE

- sharing parts of our past that make us who we are today 

- opening up when we feel insecure or anxious 

- having difficult conversations that make us uncomfortable. 

- asking for our needs to be met

QUESTIONS TO START VULNERABLE SHARING: 

1. What is your best and worst memory from childhood? 

2. What did you get from your parents that you needed, and what do you feel like you missed? 

3. How do you liked to be loved? (this will change regularly)
4. When do you feel most confident and when do you feel most insecure? 

5. What is the greatest lesson you've learned in the past year? 

6. What's something impactful that's happened to you that you've never shared with anyone else?

Emotional intimacy is also formed through intimacy actions. Intimacy actions show us that are partner considers us, listens to us, and keeps us working as a team even as life gets busy. By consistently showing up in kind and thoughtful ways for ourselves and our partner, we create an increasingly deep and sacred space for mutual freedom and evolution.

 

Consciousness is nothing special.
Consciousness simply means getting rid of the unconscious projections
which you have picked up and inherited along the way. 
It is the most ordinary, common and natural phenomenon.
Consciousness looks special because you make a goal out of it.
You may go to yoga to be all spiritual and enlightened and superior
and get your quick fix daily dopamine hit. 
You may attend church or the temple or the mosque or the shopping centre
or The Cult of Celebrity and Personality to do The Same, Same. 
Prayer, Ritual, Repetition, Servitude, Co-dependence
Binding Blind Dogma and Ultimately, Addiction.
Consciousness is none of that.
Consciousness eliminates all masks, veils, barriers and bullshit. 
(HOT TIP: you already are The Consciousness
You may just be hiding from Your Whole Self
 ignorant of your Simple True Nature still)
Seriously, or not, consciousness is
the simplest, most common and whole state to be returned to,
not attained or worked hard at or addictively pursued in
yoga or church or at the mall or at the pub. 
Stop looking for or soothing your self in addictive
patterns of the external. 

Your True Nature is the most ordinary being;
ordinary in the sense that it has no mind,
it only exists in the sheer present,
possibly hiding in plain sight, right at the tip of your nose. 
Presence, unfiltered, unadulterated, wholly here, front and centre
shown up without the unconscious family of origin baggage
right now in this moment.
That is the unadulterated whole and total consciousness,
that is who we all are at our core, 
love, bliss and happiness without any external reason, 
lit from within and no puppet on anyone's strings
a kind and aligned sovereign being,
an open and potent take no shit energy, 
a "pebble pond ripple simple" pay the GREAT shiFT forward Being, 
an energy beyond and without need of words,
an entity without cause, unmanifested and eternal
(like The Universal Internal Big Bang You Came From)
wholeness is the return to the consciousness of who you were born as
and who you have always been. 
Then you may have got side tracked, 
terms and conditions were pasted all over you,
labels stuck, dogma stuck, dis ease came and
tradition of "That's The Way We've Always Done It" stuck,
Pretending, pretentious and pretty convoluted stuck on patterns
whilst you attempted to by pass and run away from the
ignorance of not knowing your Self
and possibly drown your sorrows,
or marry your comfort meal ticket
or settle down and lose your Self
or people please and seek a nice perfection
without ever speaking your kind Truth, with depth and grounded potency, 
or you stay so far out in front of your Self by keeping busy busy busy 
that you never know how YOU are really feeling
and therefore lack presence, depth or authenticity. 
and then you get on the drugs and wish it away every night, one or two relaxants,
smoked, snorted, sipped, ingested, swallowed, skol, cheers, mindlessly numbingly watched, 
to ease the stress, the worry, the anxiety, the ignorance of not yet knowing your True Self. 
Wanting to be pacified, wanting to be soothed, wanting to be validated, 
by the bottle, by the TV, by the check out,
by the unconscious escape and unquestioning addiction, "come and save me, I'm a victim" 
by the external forces and deep chasms or voids in not knowing The Self.
When the consciousness is RIGHT there, when ever you wanna choose it as The Priority,
without all the other convoluted addiction and by pass and new cage spiritual mumbo jumbo.

You may have been subjected to unreasonable conditioning and
strict narrow standards and blind obedience whilst Being Raised.
You may have been exposed to inordinate suffering and
a competitive survivalist not enoughness in your family of origin
and parental abandonment and emotional manipulation. 
This story is all too common. It is real.
It is awful that you were "raised in" and exposed to such conditions.
This is the sub conscious energy that your central nervous system
absorbed in your formative years.
You did anything to stay attached To "Love" 
in whatever form in which it was being served.
How super intelligent are children? 
Attachment to Love over rejection and abandonment. 
A complete No brainer really. 
Children don't choose to detach from parental "love"
even if it is addictive or enmeshed or chaotic or abusive or less than ideal and unconscious
(lets hope parental love is NONE of those things)
children's wide open and somatically developing psyches
simply absorb the parental conditioning they are exposed to,
they have no choice whilst being "raised" 
these tender psyches may get stretched or eventually "torn" some years later
(or tragically a cry for help or even suicide to "just stop the mental pain", not a wish to die) 
and the result is what is termed "mental health issues" where
labels and medications are then liberally applied to "fix" The Child,
who is now an adult, who may not have any clue who they are,
heavily conditioned, torn, depressed, anxious,
checking out on drugs and alcohol and
doctor scripted medications and unconsciously lost in living.  
All because they wanted to stay attached to heavily
conditional "love" as a child.
Parents are THE future raisers, no qualifications needed, 
children should Be our greatest teachers, Once we listen. 
children should not be parental "mini me" sponges and fearful blind followers.
Children should be taught HOW to think NOT what to think.
Children should be taught how to ask better questions,
and research and find answers out themselves and question the sources
not blindly given the handouts nor told the answers or jump through meaningless hoops
to get a worthless feel good certificate from an institution that institutionalizes very well and
needs to tick economic rationalization outcome boxes of educational "success" to stay funded.

So are children exposed to a possibly unconscious group of energies called
society, school, church, media and unconscious parents?
You do your own research, you discerningly decide,
you make your own conscious mind up
I'm not here to tell you or sell you anything.
Go Figure... 
"Watching My Friend Pretending Her Heart Isn't Breaking" 
with a child torn pillar to post.