Parents and Poly Vagal Power
As parents, our responsibility is to help children process through their experiences.
This is not an easy task.
It is easy to feel triggered by children’s big emotions, whether it be fear, anger, or sadness; especially when the expression of these feelings comes out as disruptive behaviors.
Polyvagal theory empowers parents to navigate your child’s intense emotional states.
Children may become defiant, refuse to go to sleep, start lying, or become aggressive with siblings or parents. As parents it is common to attempt to apply consequences or punish our children.
However, this can devolve into a struggle of will, where parents don’t want to be the first to give in.
While limit setting is necessary to keep our children and ourselves safe, it is essential that we help our children unwind their emotional dysregulation in the safety of a caring relationship.
Polyvagal Theory provides a neurobiological framework for understanding the connection between the mind, body, and emotions. Empowered with deeper understanding, we increase our capacity to compassionately and successfully support children’s emotional regulation.
Children often have difficulty communicating their feelings verbally; as a result they frequently express emotional distress behaviorally.
Some children tend to hold big feelings inside.
Some of these children withdraw and avoid interacting with others.
Other children are more explosive in nature.
These children might have angry outbursts, throwing dramatic tantrums. Sometimes children are aggressive towards other family members and others might hurt themselves by pulling out hair or picking at skin.
As parents all of these behaviors can be disturbing to see in children.
Yet these behaviors are also strategies that children use to regulate their mind, body, and emotions.
Research by Dr. Stephen Porges reveals that the functions of the autonomic nervous system are regulated by the vagus nerve in the body.
The vagus nerve connects the brain to major systems in the body including the stomach and gut, heart, lungs, throat, and facial muscles.
Polyvagal theory posits that there are three branches of the vagus nerve; one responsible for sympathetic actions, one response for parasympathetic actions, and the third which mediates and regulates the actions of both called the social nervous system.
Let’s look at these in greater detail:
#ssy
This is not an easy task.
It is easy to feel triggered by children’s big emotions, whether it be fear, anger, or sadness; especially when the expression of these feelings comes out as disruptive behaviors.
Polyvagal theory empowers parents to navigate your child’s intense emotional states.
Children may become defiant, refuse to go to sleep, start lying, or become aggressive with siblings or parents. As parents it is common to attempt to apply consequences or punish our children.
However, this can devolve into a struggle of will, where parents don’t want to be the first to give in.
While limit setting is necessary to keep our children and ourselves safe, it is essential that we help our children unwind their emotional dysregulation in the safety of a caring relationship.
Polyvagal Theory provides a neurobiological framework for understanding the connection between the mind, body, and emotions. Empowered with deeper understanding, we increase our capacity to compassionately and successfully support children’s emotional regulation.
Children often have difficulty communicating their feelings verbally; as a result they frequently express emotional distress behaviorally.
Some children tend to hold big feelings inside.
Some of these children withdraw and avoid interacting with others.
Other children are more explosive in nature.
These children might have angry outbursts, throwing dramatic tantrums. Sometimes children are aggressive towards other family members and others might hurt themselves by pulling out hair or picking at skin.
As parents all of these behaviors can be disturbing to see in children.
Yet these behaviors are also strategies that children use to regulate their mind, body, and emotions.
Research by Dr. Stephen Porges reveals that the functions of the autonomic nervous system are regulated by the vagus nerve in the body.
The vagus nerve connects the brain to major systems in the body including the stomach and gut, heart, lungs, throat, and facial muscles.
Polyvagal theory posits that there are three branches of the vagus nerve; one responsible for sympathetic actions, one response for parasympathetic actions, and the third which mediates and regulates the actions of both called the social nervous system.
Let’s look at these in greater detail:
- The social nervous system is associated with connection, calmness, safety, and a focus on the present moment. This portion of the vagus nerve enervates the face and is seen in our kids through sparkle in their eyes, a smile on their faces, and confidence in their ability to approach the world. The social nervous system is strengthened by relationships and helps kids successfully navigate their sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
- The sympathetic nervous system is associated with high arousal and mobilization towards movement. In children, you can recognize sympathetic activation when kids are excited, silly, keyed up, wiggly or squirmy, surprised, angry, anxious, or have difficulty sleeping. When feeling unsafe or threatened, this manifests as a fight or flight response. However when supported by the social nervous system, this activation can mobilize towards play.
- The parasympathetic nervous system is associated with low arousal, relaxation, withdrawal or depression. When children feel threatened they may withdraw, appear helpless, and say they are tired, bored, or sad. However when supported by the social nervous system children feel safe to relax into a hug, snuggle with a pet, or linger in quiet satisfying activities such as reading or drawing.
#ssy
